Arms, Abs, Thighs, Toes.

You know the best part of having stomach surgery? The never-ending workouts you put yourself through trying to get some of your "once-defined-and-hot" abs back. Please sense my sarcasm.

I pulled out my blue bikini tonight and waited for the moment of truth to arrive. Good news: it still fits. Bad news: my body hasn't cooperated with reverting back to normal. Most of my surgery weight is still on me, my scars are visible and my abs aren't back. As I stood there in the mirror looking at myself, I sunk into a pit of self criticism. My breasts are small and take more effort than they should to push up. My arms aren't as toned as they should be. My stomach isn't sleek. My hips have a little bulge. My thighs jiggle. My calves aren't as shapely as they used to be. My ankles are ugly. My baby toe sits at a weird angle. I got to "baby toe" and realized I was on a dangerous road that wouldn't do me any good.

Fact is, I will be wearing a bathing suit in public in less than a week. Six days. It cannot be avoided unless I want to miss out on one of summer's greatest joys. All I can do is keep trying, and hopefully I'll look more like the girl I used to look like. All in all, here's a giant "meh" to perfection. My body is functioning, the sun is shining, I'm alive - so whatever.

I still wouldn't complain if a magic genie appeared and fixed some of the cellulite...
Just saying.