Peace, Love, Gamma. Forever.

My heart is literally broken and I'm still trying to recover from a devastating shock. Around 1 a.m. last night, I logged onto Facebook and saw a post from a friend of mine that stated the LDSSA Sororities and Fraternities (Sigma Gamma Chi/Lambda Delta Sigma) programs were terminated. Naturally I thought it was a huge joke because this organization has been around prior to my mother's college days, and she was a member while attending the U. I received further confirmation later that night around two, and then earlier today around noon. Words cannot describe how lost and sad I feel right now.

I decided to rush last year, and to be honest I wasn't highly enthused. I worried I wouldn't fit in, stressed over the fact that I'm not currently in school, wondered if I would be judged for being "more open" to things than some people of the LDS faith. I showed up for rush week by myself, saw a bunch of recent high school graduates and freaked out. I remember thinking that there was no way this would work for me. But since I was there, I figured I would just go through the rush process and at least be able to say I tried. I came upon the Gamma table and it all clicked into place. I just knew I belonged there. Now here I am; 10 months later, bawling over the end of this incredible chapter.

Gamma has changed me in more ways than I could have imagined, and has helped me through some of the hardest times. I wasn't in a good place when I started this process, problems were consistent in my life. I wasn't happy. As I got to know these amazing girls and hear their amazing stories, it strengthened me. I found a comfort I hadn't had in a long time and people who cared. Love, support and faith were present in every single meeting. Thursdays became the day I looked forward to, and when life got stressful and busy, I counted down the hours until I was safe and sound in the Gamma room.

I'm trying desperately to find the good in this, but it's difficult. I don't know the exact reasoning for ending this extraordinary organization, but I'm trying to believe that it's the right thing. No more FTGOTS, rose passings, exchanges, retreats, dance parties, banquets, membership ceremonies, spiritual nights, sisterhood activities, date nights, "Be of Good Cheer," etc. I feel like a piece of me is missing.

Love you girls!